Do your friends or family ever tell you some bad news and do you always struggle with what to say? Or you’re not sure what the right thing to say is? Especially if you can see the person you love or care about is hurting so much. My immediate reaction is to want to fix everything.

I usually have a strong positive attitude and always used to try impose my positivity on other people by making them see all the good things going on in their lives, but this isn’t always what people want to hear.

I discovered this much more when I signed up to do some volunteering for Mind. As part of the training, the group I was with were shown a video by Brene Brown that really struck a chord with me. I have had some family instances over the last couple of years when my response could have been different.

I have attached the link to the video below and it is worth a little watch for 2 reasons:

https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw

• It helped clarify for me what I need to say in certain situations. Especially when it comes to my family where all I want to do is fix everybody but I am beginning to realise that thinking I need to offer solutions and get involved is not always that helpful and what is really needed is support and connection.
• If you going through something difficult yourself, this video has also taught me that other people reactions and responses are very normal. I have definitely been on the receiving end of bad news or had feelings of grief and loss and over the years I now understand why some words offered by people don’t seem to work or make me feel any better at the time even though they may seem helpful.

Since watching this video I now have a little think before I open my mouth when someone is going through hard times.

I learnt on the training day that people who might be suffering from mental health or difficulty, will in time come around to the idea of knowing that there are positive things in their lives but it takes time. As friends and family, we just need to show an understanding and be EMPATHETIC rather than SYMPATHETIC. I cringe a little bit now when I think of all the times I have said “well at least…..” in response to someone’s problem.

Brene Brown (http://brenebrown.com/) is also a bit of inspiration to me. She has a new book called Braving the Wilderness which is high on my reading list and can’t wait to read it.

The photo for this blog was taken yesterday on a walk with Noodle. Autumn is truly on its way now. I love this time of year as it reminds me of the build up to our wedding where we picked leaves and dried them for our place names. I look at the beautiful colour of the leaves on the ground now and think of our wonderful wedding and what a wonderful day it was.

Sarah